


The Return

by nonamesneeded



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 17:19:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonamesneeded/pseuds/nonamesneeded





	The Return

It was the dip of her spine that did it. 

The way the sunlight dazzled and danced at the valley of her hips. The way the notches of her backbone ran down her back in such spectacular curvature, descending as it hit the meadow. My mouth was dry, my eyes watery with contentment as I watched her lie peacefully in our bed, dark wavy hair strewn haphazardly around her angelic face and across her pillow, sheets barely touching the top of her behind as her body swelled and fell with each breath and sigh that slipped from her slightly parted rose-tinted lips. Her body was relaxed, unconsciously unaware of my watchful longing gaze as I sat at the far end corner of the room, sketching in my notepad, the tip of my pencil skipping across the page as I drew her outline. I had so many of these sketches but each time I looked upon her, I would see this new perspective that my fingers itched to draw and thus on this morning, it was the dip of her spine. 

My pencil skimmed over the page, my eyes temporarily diverted as I aimed to recreate how the soft light that filtered through the slits of our bedroom blinds hit her lower back euphorically, the tiny fair hairs that lay there glimmering at me enticingly. I chewed on my lower lip anxiously, a slight frown forming between my eyebrows, just wanting to give it at least some justice. Because that was important I thought, even if I could just give it some, my pencil working hard to shade and contrast and when I looked back up I found open lustful eyes staring back at me. 

It was in moments like this that I realised I was alive. The incessant beating of my heart told me so as I watched her eyes take me in, a small smile forming on her lips as I sucked in a breath like I had forgotten how to breathe.

“Morning” she croaked, her voice ragged from her slumber. 

I smiled at her sleepiness as she stifled a yawn in her pillow and I smiled at her sparkling emerald green eyes that darted all over my body unabashed. I reached for my coffee cup then that was sat beside me on the little breakfast table next to my chair, freshly brewed with a hint of vanilla and I felt her eyes settle upon my mouth as I took the first tentative sip. “Coffee?” I ask and she nods her head with a drowsy grumble, reaching out to me and I laugh tenderly. I couldn’t help but adore her more in the mornings. 

I leave the comfort of my chair, the shirt I am wearing dropping down around the tops of my thighs as I walk towards her somewhat seductively and allow her to reel me in. She sits up as I approach, her back now finding its way to the headboard and the bed sheets pooling around her hips tauntingly allowing her breasts to come into view in all their naked glory. And I grin to myself. Not because I could see her naked, although that was nice, but because I knew the reason she was.

I straddle her legs and our fingers meet as she places her hands around the cup of coffee that still sat snugly between my own. Her tongue unconsciously darting out to wet her lips in anticipation and I breathe her in as she takes the cup to her mouth and allows the warm liquid to quench her thirst with a satisfying sigh. 

“Clarke” 

She says, startling me. 

My eyes move quickly from the tip of her cupid’s bow, a place that I had been focused on for some undisclosed amount of time, to encompass the rest of her face, the little dimple on the side of her cheek, her delicate nose, the way her eyes crinkled. 

“How long?”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant but I knew she was being cheeky from the mischievous glint in her eyes and so I rolled my eyes

“How long Clarke?” She asks again, her fingers skimming the outside of my thighs, playing with the hem of my shirt. The dryness in my throat now resembling that of the Sahara desert. She was a tease. Of that I was sure as I fought the urge to audibly express my growing desires.

“I have no idea what you are referring to” I sass and I hear her chuckle

“How long have you been watching me?” She grins, her fingers now taunting the skin directly below my belly button “You know, it’s kind of stalkerish, drawing someone when they are asleep.” Her knowing smirk drives me wild as the blush rises in my cheeks.

“I couldn’t help it” I mumble quietly. My eyes drop in an attempt to cover up my flustered state but my head clouds over at her wandering fingertips. 

“No?” She questions teasingly, her eyebrow raising smugly

“I...I..” I try to gather my thoughts “it was your fault” I accuse rather suddenly

I feel, rather than hear her guffaw then. Her sides shaking slightly as she listens to my lame excuses of why I felt the need to draw perhaps my millionth picture of her. 

“Is that so?” She says “And how is this my fault?” She punctuates the this as her hand dances along my inner thighs and I rake in a sharp intake of breath “Besides, don’t you look at bodies all day?”

“I don’t perv on my models” I protest

“Oh” She notes, clearly satisfIed “So you admit you were perving on me then?” And I sigh defeated because she knows she’s got me on that one. 

“It was your spine, okay?” I spill out before I feel her fingers pull at my chin and her lips kissing me languishly as her other hand slips to where I need it most

And I look at her with all the tenderness and awe I could feel in that moment through hooded salacious eyes, my fingers gripping at her tightly as I soared and I realise that this, this right here, was all I could ever want.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was with the same tenderness that my fingers now shakily traced the outline of her spine, except now it was a painting that rested against the wall of my studio. I look around slowly, my eyes raking in all before me and of all the paintings, this was still secretly my favorite. The one that pulled at my strings and left me weak. The pureness of the moment it encaptured still took my breath away but now it was tainted somewhat by the sadness I felt when I lay eyes on it. 

“Wow, Clarke” I hear Octavia say behind me, her arm gently wrapping around my shoulders as she pulls me into her side reassuringly. And I nod because that’s all I could manage in that moment. “It’s beautiful” She kisses my temple then and I feel the tears brimming at my eyelids. The tears that I was now so desperately fighting against. In all honesty, I hadn’t looked at this painting in such a long time, I had almost forgotten the effect it had on me as it lay under wraps to shield me from the emotional turmoil. The memories of her were still so raw to me that I would sometimes wake up, expecting her warmth to be there enveloping me, only to realise my nightmares came only when I was awake. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Octavia asks. She had been there with me through it all, from the great highs to the shattering lows. She had seen me at my cringeful worst and now she was helping me take the ultimate step to the next chapter in my life. The one where Lexa did not participate. The thought caused a stabbing sensation to ripple through me and I winced at the realisation that perhaps I would never be able to shake her off entirely. Perhaps it was the dip of her spine or perhaps it was how I had never been able to stop thinking about her ever since I had first lay eyes on her back at college when we were young and impressionable. But whatever it was, one thing was for sure, my heart hadn’t quite beat the same since.

I nod silently to Octavia’s question with a sigh. I was finding it increasingly hard to keep my emotions intact at the thought of leaving it all behind. I loved this space. My space away from the world. My peace and quiet. I had had the studio for the best part of 5 years by this point and it felt like home. The small space filled with my masses of paint supplies and canvases and a small sofa bed that had springs that dug into your back as you rolled onto the left hand side. I smile at that, my fingertips unconsciously running across the carved heart-shaped message ingrained in the rooms wooden beam. 

Octavia encourages me with a squeeze of my shoulder “Let’s get the rest of these packed up then shall we?” I watch as she gently lifts the canvas, placing it on top of the waiting bubble wrap to be encased protectively for transportation. I am grateful for her presence, if only to bring me out of my wandering thoughts. I was thankful that she didn’t push me further. That she just silently helped me because she was my friend and because she knew what I was feeling even if I couldn’t express it. 

“Your mom is going to be so happy that you are coming back home”

“I know O” I chuckle “It’ll be odd going back but I’m actually quite excited that i’ll be able to just pop over to your house without having to catch a flight first ”

“Hell yeah...And the gallery opening has been the talk of the town” She laughs as she ruffles my hair. “Arkadia won’t know what’s hit it” It was certainly going to be a change of pace from New York

“Hey...I almost forgot…” She perks up after a moment of distraction. I raise my eyebrows curiously at her growing smirk “You didn’t tell me about your thing with Niylah!” 

I roll my eyes at the mention of the girls name “There is no thing” Octavia nudges her shoulder into me with a giggle, “Come on Clarke...I saw the way the two of you were eye-fucking each other when we went to sign the contract on your studio”

“She’s nice” I muster

“Nice? Clark..seriously, she’s hot! If I was, you know, I totally would!” She was right of course, Niylah was hot and I couldn’t quite see why she had taken such an interest in me.

“You know, it’s been a long time since I saw you laugh that way” Octavia states earnestly. And I nod, it was getting easier in many ways but the truth was I wasn’t all there. In a strange way, it was good enough, I needed the distraction from the truth, from what hurt, something to distract me from her and myself. “She may be a good distraction” she adds as if reading my mind.

We work together for the next few hours, wrapping and packing until the studio no longer looked like my own. Until it was hollow and devoid of anything resembling the life it once had and I couldn’t help but feel a bit lost. I gnaw at my lip, my hands wringing the left-over packaging anxiously. The overwhelming feeling of the upcoming end threatening to break me. 

“You ready?” She asks and this question feels bigger than the question itself. I steal a glance back at the painting that had once brought me such joy and now sat wrapped in bubble wrap on a cart. 

“Yeah” 

“Come on then...let’s get out of here before it starts getting dark, your new pad awaits” She kisses my forehead then and I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding as we walk towards the exit, Octavia’s hands soothingly rubbing against my upper arms and it’s with a heavy heart that I open the little wooden derelict door to leave, forsaking what I felt was the biggest part of me. The part that had taken over my life for so many years. I appreciated Octavia’s silence in this moment, a moment to let me dwell on the past as I stepped into the future, the fresh air hitting my lungs and the relief washing over me like a tidal wave. 

“Goodbye Lexa”


End file.
